I received the following email recently from one of our Creating a Family community.
Thanks so much [for your congratulations]. We’re doing incredibly wonderfully. I’m working from home right now lying next to [my son and wife]. It’s pure bliss. I’m sure that the long-term infertile must make the best parents, or at least the most satisfied, since everything feels like a gift. Even the 2 am feedings. Well, we’re still new at this—two weeks today!–and I might take all that back later. …For all my high expectations and desperate hope, the reality is so much better than the fantasy.
Now for the backstory-He and his wife had been trying to conceive for almost 10 years. They went through four cycles of IVF. They talked about adoption, but couldn’t quite get comfortable. The wrestled with using donor egg, but his wife strongly objected. He, as with many guys, walked the line between support and longing with such grace. He wanted kids; she wanted kids, but they couldn’t agree on the best way, and he couldn’t and wouldn’t push her too hard. A couple of years ago, she came around to the idea of donor eggs. They tried and failed. They were devastated. They tried again with another donor. I received one tentative email saying that she was pregnant, but it was too early to really believe that it might happen. Then came an emailed that simply said: “He is here”, followed two weeks later by the above.