Comments on: Raising Adopted Kids-New Research

By: Annie b. g.

Annie b. g. — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 22:15:24 +0000

Hi. I have often checked the adoption institute website after you promoted them so heavily in your book. I agree that they provide great information. This research is another example. I do find it confusing from a parent’s prospective on how to apply this information. Thank you for taking the time to review it so throroughly.

By: Walt

Walt — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 16:10:46 +0000

Thanx for this very useful article. You did my homework for me. I also enjoyed your adoption research page. Hadn’t seen it before. Again, much thanx for what you do.

By: TTC #2

TTC #2 — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 13:43:27 +0000

Thank you for your focus on research. This approach is lacking in almost every site I visit and I’ve visited them all.

By: Dawn

Dawn — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 01:36:04 +0000

Toni, I understand your frustration and I was a little worried that this report could be interpreted that way. However, reading between the lines, I think there is much we can do as parents beyond sending our children to diverse schools and trying to find adult role models.

Note that all but the last three items mentioned as potentially helpful at creating a positive identity scored higher than 50%. Travel to your child’s homeland received 74%, but travel to any place with a different culture scored right behind at 72%. Reading books about adoption and your child’s culture and eating foods of their ethnicity were rated as helpful by 68% of respondent, and both are easy and a lot of fun.

I don’t think there is any one magic bullet that we parents can do to assure that our kids, adopted or not, will develop into emotionally healthy individuals with a well formed identity. there are however, many small things we can do to increase the odds. All these things add up. And by the way, I don’t think it is necessary that you find a BFF of your child’s race, only that you expand your social circle if possible to include people of different races and elasticities.

By: Toni A. P.

Toni A. P. — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 20:07:04 +0000

So if we aren’t able to send our kids to private multi racial schools or get them into the few good public schools that provide diversity and we can’t find a BFF that is of our child’s race, what are we suppose to do. If all the “easy” things don’t do any good, why bother?

By: Mama Bev

Mama Bev — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 17:44:43 +0000

As the mother of 3 gorgeous young ladies adopted from Russia in their mid-teens, I am struggling with the cultural idenity issue. They do not seem interested in doing any Russian cultural activities, in fact, they would just as soon ignore the fact that they were born in Russia! They speak Russian amoung themselves, but get upset if someone asks about their accent-go figure. If I broach the subject of finding any relatives in their country of birth (Kaz), the oldest one claims no one there cares. The middle one, for reasons I haven’t figured out, does not acknowledge that she is Caucasian-identifies with the blacks more! The youngest still has family in Russia, and keeps in touch, and so is quite comfortable with her dual idenity. All three are more than happy to be here in America and enjoying a much better life than the orphanage or what would have happened to them if I had not adopted them!
I also adopted a younger brother of the 2 older girls, and after 3 years, he is about as American as if he was born here (he is now 10 yo). So, all three are blessed and a blessing to me and we are having a wonderful time being a family!

By: anna

anna — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 14:20:08 +0000

Thanks for doing this. I saw the NYT article on this on your homepage and since I thought it was pretty negative, I wanted to read the full report. Well, that wasn’t going to happen any time soon, so seeing this summary was great. You did a very good job of highlighting what the report said and not extrapolating it further. Thanks and by the way I LOVE LOVE the radio show.

By: NY Carrie

NY Carrie — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 10:41:30 +0000

Thank you for summarizing this report. Your summary was better for me than the Exec. Summary I found online at their site. You know me well when you said that the part I was really waiting for was the part that would tell me what I should do as an adoptive parent of two beauties from China and the one who is on the way from Ethiopia. I listened to your show this summer on Becoming a Multicultural and Transracial Family. It seemed to completely support what this research showed. I appreciated the more “practical” suggestions of how to go about it. Like you said on the show, it is hard to find adult role models of my kids race, but it is possible. I just haven’t done it. Thanks for the reminder. I will listen to the show with the author of this study next.