Comments on: Adoption and Tweens and Teens

By: Bev

Bev — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 18:32:04 +0000

As the mother of 3 grown children, I always leaned towards adopting a boy as my son was extremely sweet and cuddly, where as his sisters wanted to “do it myself”. But, I ended up with 3 teen girls and a 7 yo little brother. Talk about a different boy!!! Holes in the knees of pants after 2 wearings, impossible to remove stains on his shirts and never can remember where they came from!
My daughters are all very different-the one that came home from Russia at 17-1/2 yo has whole heartedly accepted America as home and says she really has no plans to return to Russia. Her sister was 14 when brought home and is still dealing with identy issues 3 years later. My other 17 yo (now) is so happy to have a mother, it is almost pathetic (hers was killed in an auto accident.) So, to 2 I am the MOM and one is just now accepting me, but still feels like I am usurping her “real” mother’s place. She talks about going back and finding her “real” mom, not sure what emotions will rule if she does, as she and her siblings were the product of abandonment!
But at 3 years on the first 3 and 18 months on the last one, I no longer feel like I am “bumbing” along and life is getting a bit smoother at home.
p.s. there is a Yahoo list serve for parents of older international adoptees. It is great to know that no matter where the kids are from, we are all in basically the same boat!

By: Emma Rainey

Emma Rainey — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 07:12:15 +0000

As a mom to be who is doing everything known to man and beyond to have a child, I find it amazingly uplifting to read about parenting older kids. I don’t know why, since I find it hard to read anything about parenting babies, but I love reading your blogs about your older kids. It gives me hope and I like that you don’t make it all seem perfect and easy and unrealistic. Maybe I’m just weird or more likely hormonal, but I like it. Thanks and keep it up.

By: Ms. Mom

Ms. Mom — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 07:14:11 +0000

There are almost no blogs or websites or anything for parents of the upper elementary plus kids. I know you try to keep your blog pretty open to both infertility and adoption, but I really appreciate your tween and teen parenting ones. Thanks.

By: Alida

Alida — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 20:14:22 +0000

I enjoyed reading this, Dawn. I agree with Momofmany, I wish there was a magazine like this for example for girls adopted from Ethiopia.
On another note, I don’t really see our country as a Caucasian country, but rather a melting pot of all kinds of cultures, skin colors and nationalities …. really, when you think about it, and granted I don’t have the numbers to show for it, but when you put all the ethnic groups together such as Blacks, Latinos, Asian, Arabs, Indians and all other ethnics groups and mixed nationalities and races together, I think this group might be greater than the Caucasion group. Maybe I misunderstood you though, and you meant Caucasion country because most Asian adoptions are done by Caucasion people so these girls might grow up primarily amidst Caucasion people …. I’m not sure, either way …. I think our country is a melting pot …… and I love it for that even more!

By: Momofmany

Momofmany — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 10:13:38 +0000

Your daughter sounds like my daughter–so funny. I wish there were a magazine like this for all adopted kids. That would apply to domestically adopted kids and internationally adopted kids. I wonder if people would buy it. I think a lot of parents think that their 12+ year olds just don’t think about it. Maybe some don’t, but like you, I think they do.

By: Vivianne

Vivianne — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 01:28:49 +0000

I am always looking for resources. Your suggested book page has been my guide for the last 2 years. I appreciate your reviews. I loved this one. What I like about your blogs is the interaction between you and your kids. It sounds so normal. When I think about my kids getting older I worry about what it and they will be like, but after I read your blogs I always feel better. Sometimes I even look forward to it. Tweens and teen can be fun.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 08:19:41 +0000

I too find it hard to find good materials of any sort to keep the dialog going with my adopted tween and teen. Like yours, they aren’t into that topic right now, but I agree that they are likely thinking about it. I’ll check out Mei. Thanks for the funny review that also gave enough information to be worthwhile.

By: Dawn

Dawn — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 19:45:16 +0000

Nope, the only way that happens is if I put my foot down and insist on cleaning for health reasons. But as soon as it is cleaned and vacuumed, she returns to storing things on the floor. Rooms aren’t a battle that I fight.

By: Tonggu Momma

Tonggu Momma — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 19:02:20 +0000

Great review! I’m linking on Sunday. And inquiring minds want to know… did she ever clean her room? Heh.

By: Dawn

Dawn — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 18:11:20 +0000

I think it’s a great idea. Your 10 year old’s attitude towards China and adoption will influence your younger daughter in both obvious and subtle ways. Also, I think your 10 year old would be interested in some of the articles because they are just plain fun and interesting.