Comments on: Tales From a Blended Family: Swimming in Mom’s Pee

By: Kristen

Kristen — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 05:24:51 +0000

Thanks for writing this! I can relate so much. My oldest is adopted, and he has watched me go through two pregnancies. I’ve often wondered what that was like for him, but he actually seems pretty unfazed. He gets that he grew in a different tummy. I am thankful for photos of him with his birth mom, and I think looking at that book regularly when he was little has really helped solidify a healthy outlook on the whole thing.

By: Sari

Sari — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 05:10:53 +0000

Hi. Thank you for speaking for us with both adopted kids and biologi cal kids. I also love being a blended family with 2 adopted and 1 bio, but I think few people know that it is a balancing act. Not a bad one, but still there are times when I worry. I have followed your radio show from the beginning and I can’t tell you how much they have meant to me. I really haven’t missed a one. I also read all you blogs, but this one has been the very best or at least the one that hit home the most. Thank you for what you do. I hopw you’ll do another show on combing kids by both birth and adoption.

By: Beautiful Mess

Beautiful Mess — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 07:00:15 +0000

Happy ICLW!

The fact that your daughter can throw it right back at her brother like that, shows how “comfortable” she is. I am not an adoptive parent, but I can see how you would want to protect your daughter from feeling hurt. From where I sit, you have nothing to worry about. your children seem like they have been raised very well. With all the knowledge and pictures they may not want to know/see ;o)
*HUGS*

By: Katie

Katie — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 18:06:44 +0000

New reader from ICLW… I’m not sure how old DD#2 is, but she seems to be very mature and comfortable in her biological history making that comment to her brother. It sound like to me you did a great job

By: Margie

Margie — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 20:15:15 +0000

Our family isn’t blended, but this post struck a chord anyway, because these same issues come up in extended family situations, too.

“This type of thinking is falling into the trap I warn others about: treating our adopted kids as if they are more fragile than they really are.”

The older our kids get, the more I finally realize this. But boy it’s hard!

By: Jamie

Jamie — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 23:25:04 +0000

This is a great post, Dawn, thanks from all of the parents of blended families out there! It’s hard to find the line between sensitivity and idiocy as a parent sometimes And I know that as I try and protect my adopted kid it’s easy for me to cross that line. Thanks for being real with us!

By: randi

randi — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 21:23:51 +0000

I saw myself in your post today and didn’t even realize that I was avoiding topics such as birth and breastfeeding. I need to think more on this and talk with the hubby about it. I can see exactly what you are saying, but why didn’t I realize it before? Thank you for your honesty. I like that you don’t pretend to have all the answers or be perfect.

By: Dawn

Dawn — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 19:06:36 +0000

I’m also parenting two by birth and by adoption and we don’t have a lifebook for our (adopted) daughter. We have an open adoption so we are fortunate to have nearly as many pics of Madison’s time in the hospital in our albums as we do of our son’s. What we’re really missing (and I oh so wish we had) are pics of our daughter’s first mom being pregnant with Madison. Unfortunately, Pennie just never got pictures taken while she was pregnant.

I do know what you mean about sometimes holding my breath and wanting to avoid stuff because I know it’ll be hard. My daughter right now is all about breastfeeding. She’s five and her birth mom is due with another baby in September. She’s keenly aware that her brother breastfed and that she did not and now this new baby brother likely will get some breast time, too, and she DOES NOT LIKE IT. But talking it through is another way for us to help her process her adoption story, which has inherent loss. I wish I could protect her from her loss but I can’t — I can only love her through it.

Thanks so much for your post!!!!