Hi, my name is Dawn and I’m a planner. I like to have a general idea of what I’m going to do today, this week, two monthsDon’t Let Uncertainty of Infertility or Adoption Rob You of Living from now, and generally for the next few years. I’m not obsessive (much) and can quickly adapt to changed circumstances, but pretty soon after the change happens I start planning again.

Well, it Depends—Will I be Pregnant?

One of the most frustrating things about infertility—other than the whole not having a baby part—is that you can’t plan your life. Where should we go on vacation? Well, it depends—will we be pregnant?  What size car should we buy? Well, it depends—will we need room for a car seat? Should your husband go on that fishing trip with his buddies? Well, it depends—will I be ovulating that weekend? Should I accept this big promotion that will require 60 hour weeks for the next year? Well, it depends.  You get the picture.

The Adoption Wait is Not Much Better

Adoption, especially domestic or foster care adoption, isn’t much better since you really have no idea when you will be matched. You could be one of the lucky ones and get a placement a few months after you finish your home study. Or maybe not. International adoption isn’t exactly a planners paradise, but at least you usually have a general idea on the timing.

Don’t Put Off Living

Infertility robs you of so much; don’t let it rob you of your life. Easier said than done, I know. There are so many what ifs when trying to decide what to do next month, much less next year, but putting your life on hold just adds to the pain and losses associated with not being able to get pregnant.

You deserve to live a full life! So right now, I dare you, plan something you’d really like to do. If you end up having to cancel, well, as the saying goes—that’s a first class kind of problem to have.

Can You Be Happy Even When Infertile?

You might enjoy this really great Creating a Family show–Can You Be Happy Even While Infertile. I interviewed Dr. Ali Domar, psychologist and international leader in the field of mind/body medicine, founder of The Domar Center for Mind/Body Health, and author of numerous books including Conquering Infertility and Being Happy Without Being Perfect.


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Do you feel like you’ve put your life on hold because of the uncertainty of infertility or adoption? If not, how have you avoided doing this.

Image credit: Lorenia

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