Is it time to quit infertility treatment start considering your other options? Donor Egg? Adoption? Surrogacy? Donor Embryo?
You’ve had a number of failed IVF cycles. Your money and emotions are running thin. Your mother, your spouse, or maybe even your fertility doctor have started to drop hints that you may need “to explore other possibilities” for having a family. Oh, if only it were so simple to just stop and move on. The death of a dream deserves time for mourning.
There is no one answer for everyone, but I think answering the following five questions can be useful. Your answers may lead you to continuing in treatment using your own eggs and sperm, to using donor egg or sperm, using donor embryo, surrogacy, or to adoption.
The key here is for both partners to soul search without judgment. There are no right answers, only honest answers.
- How important is having a genetic connection to your child?
- How important are the physical aspects of pregnancy and breastfeeding?
- How financially and emotionally weary are you with the whole fertility treatment process?
- Is becoming a parent more important to you than giving birth or being genetically linked?
- The fear and uncertainty about another form of family building is outweighed by excitement and hope.
The goal is to quit before your resources (emotional, marital, and monetary) are all used up because your other avenues for creating your family are resource intensive as well.
If you stopped, how did you know it was time? What pushed you over the line to say, I need to try something else?
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