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For Families and Friends


Where to Start
Information and Resources

Where to Start for Information on Infertility Etiquette and Support:

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Information and Resources to Help Family and Friends Understand Infertility:

  • What IF by Keiko Koll- Great video. The jumpiness of the filming style can be off-putting, but the message is well worth sticking it out.
  • When Infertility Strikes the Family: Helping the System Cope by Dr. Linda Hammer Burns and Sharon N. Covington. (Originally published in Family Building Magazine) This is an insightful thorough article on how infertility affects not only the couple, but also their extended family. This is useful reading for both the infertile and their family.
  • Send this video, Empty Arms, to your family and friends. There is no better way to explain the pain and the longing that is infertility.
  • Infertility Support - Often families and friends don't know how to respond or support someone going through infertility. And really, when you think about it, how would they know unless they've been through it themselves or unless you tell them. Help them out by giving them this great little booklet titled How Can I Help? The Dos And The Dont's Of Support.
  • Helping a Loved One with Infertility is a wonderful article full of very practical specific advice. It is written from the Christian perspective.
  • Letter to My Pastor is, as the name implies, a heartfelt letter to a minister explaining what Mother's Day feel like for an infertile woman. I think the message would apply to other family-centric holidays and for people other than your pastor.
  • A wonderfully insightful sermon on infertility. I can imagine that this might be a useful link to share with your minister. Too bad this sermon is not preached in every church throughout the world.
  • I thought this was such well written advice on how to share your pregnancy news with your friends who are struggling with trying to conceive. It's from Advice Smackdown.
  • What We Wish You Knew: Supporting Loved Ones in Infertility. This is a great blog with information for families and friends of infertile couples on how to provide comfort and support for infertility.
  • Infertility Etiquette is a great blog post/informative lesson on how to act around someone who can't have children or has trouble getting pregnant.
  • Great blog on what not to say to folks who are childless not by choice. Funny and poignant rolled into one. Infertility etiquette.
  • Pregnancy Loss: How to Respond With Compassion is an article by Connie Shapiro, a professor of family studies at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign and author of When You're Not Expecting: An Infertility Survival Guide.
  • All I Want for Christmas Is a Baby Infertility During the Holidays. This is an especially insightful article about developing coping strategies for getting through the holidays when you are infertile and longing for a child.
  • Holidays and Infertility
  • Focus on the Family podcast on infertility and how to cope and grow through this experience as a person of faith - They covered the topic with sensitivity and without minimizing the lifelong impact of infertility.
  • An absolutely wonderful essay written by a woman in the midst of an infertility and pregnancy struggle, meant for her family and friends. While acknowledging that her infertility has changed her and changed her relationship with them, and owing that her behavior might seem irrational and selfish to them, the author then explains infertility from her perspective and why she behaves as she does. This would be a great resource to copy and paste into an email or letter to those in your circle that don't seem to understand. You might want to tweak it to fit your exact emotions, or use it as is.

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