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Adopting Out of Birth Order and Artificial Twinning

Highlights from March 10, 2010 Creating a Family radio show

General adoption wisdom is that it is best not to adopt out of birth order or to create artificial twins through adoption. What are the realities of these decisions? Is it always a bad idea? Our guests were Dr. Anne Brodzinsky, psychologist and co-author of Children's Adjustment to Adoption, and Dr. Martha Henry, Director of the Office for Foster Care and Adoption at the University of Massachusetts Medical School and co-author of Adoption in the United States: A Reference for Families, Professionals, and Students.

  • Why is the practice of adopting out of birth order discouraged by many adoption professionals?
  • How does this position affect the adoption of older children?
  • Does it matter which child is being displaced—eldest? Youngest?
  • How to handle the situation where the newly adopted child is now the eldest, but not as mature as the child that was the displaced as the eldest?
  • How to tie responsibility to maturity not age.
  • Should we talk with existing children to see their position on the adoption?
  • How to handle a newly adopted eldest child that wants to be in control and boss the other children.
  • Practical suggestions for parents who adopt out of birth order.
  • Is it a bad idea to adopt two children close in age?
  • What is meant by virtual twins.
  • Does it matter if the children that are adopted at are the same age are of a different gender.
  • How do you explain to the rest of the world why you have two children who are the same but not twins?
  • Practical parenting tips for parents that have artificial twins.

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Are you primarily interested in?  Infertility     Adoption
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