Many parents dread having the “adoption talk”. They worry that they will make a mistake; that their child will feel different; that they will somehow burden him with information he does not need to know.
Worry not! “The Talk” is really a series of small seemingly inconsequential talks as your child ages, starting before they even understand the words and continuing until they are adults sharing these 10 basic facts.
- Adoption is normal. Families are formed in different ways and all ways are great.
- All children are born to a mommy and daddy. Adopted kids need to know that they grew in their birth mom’s tummy (uterus) just like other kids grew in their mom’s tummy.
- Nothing they did caused their birth parents to place them for adoption. Adoptive parents have to explain what they know about why the child was adopted. They may know the exact reason or they may have a general idea that they can share. (In an open adoption, birth parents can also share.) Example:
- Suzy and John (birth parents) were not ready to parent any baby when you were born.
- We think your birth parents were very very poor and knew that they couldn’t give you what you needed.